Times Like These
by Caribou Coffee
Summary: Jesse finds himself missing his sister before his wedding. Set during The Wedding, Part 1.


**TIMES LIKE THESE**

**Summary:** Jesse finds himself missing his sister before his wedding.

**Rating:** K

**Timeframe:** Season 4, during "The Wedding, Part 1"

**Background Info: **Jesse Katsopolis (28) and Rebecca Donaldson (25) are engaged to be married. Danny Tanner (33) is single. Joey Gladstone (32) is dating around. DJ Tanner (14) is in eighth grade, Stephanie Tanner (9) is in third grade, and Michelle Tanner (4) is in preschool.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Full House_ or any of its characters. I also do not own the lyrics to "Amazed" by Trademark.

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Becky closed the door to the Tanner's kitchen. She had just gotten done introducing her parents to Danny and Joey, who had both been without pants. Her father and Jesse weren't getting along, which was a sign that maybe it hadn't been wise to wait until the day before the big day to introduce them. Michelle wasn't thrilled about seeing Howie, her nephew she had once had a bout of depression over after departing with. Everything that she had thought fit into a well put-together plan had turned out to be a disaster.

Becky looked at her fiancé and allowed urgency to enter her voice. "Oh, Jess," she said, on the verge of tears, "I just wanted everything to be perfect. The tuxedos don't fit, Michelle is upset because Howie is a boy, you and my dad hate each other . . ."

Becky continued to ramble on, but Jesse wasn't listening to her. He wasn't even looking at her. He was gazing past her, at something on the mantelpiece that had caught his eye the minute Becky had closed the door and filled him with deep sadness.

Jesse finally spoke, interrupting his fiancée. "Well, you know what, Becky?" he asked, aware that his voice had cracked. "No matter what, this wedding can't be perfect. So you shouldn't of even relied on that goal in the first place!" Afraid that he may lose it completely in front of her, Jesse shook his head and turned on his heel, half sprinting up the stairs.

Becky glanced in the direction Jesse had fled, confused. She then realized that she had been so lost in her own worries that she hadn't even noticed until now that he hadn't been listening to her. She turned her head and looked where he had been glancing.

"Oh," she softly uttered aloud.

On the fireplace shelf stood a framed photograph. It was of Pam Tanner, Jesse's deceased sister, Danny's late wife, and the girls' long lost mother. She was all that and much more, judging from the stories she had been told. Becky just stared at her sister-in-law for a moment, taking in the resemblance she held with the three girls and even slightly with Jesse. The picture had been there ever since she had known the Tanners and until now, she had never truly felt a connection with the woman.

She hadn't thought about how hard it must be for Jesse that his big sister wouldn't be present on what was supposed to be the most joyous occasion of his life.

Becky's lips formed a grim line as guilt over her thoughtlessness permeated her. She started off slowly walking toward the staircase, subsequently breaking into a jog.

---------------

Jesse sat on his bed in the room that would soon no longer be his. His hands were gripping the sides of his head and his elbows were leaning on his knees as he gazed at the wall, trying to avoid Elvis Presley's womanizing expression.

He had just snapped at his beloved fiancée for no good reason at all. He was just caught off guard by the way the walls suddenly felt as if they were closing in on him. It was beginning to hit him that he would soon be moving out of the place that had been the most intimate home he had ever known. In a way, he was leaving behind a piece of his heart that belonged with the girls, Danny, Joey . . . and Pam. He had only thought about what he would be gaining from this marriage, not what he would be losing.

Why of all times did he have to think about Pam now? It was the eve of his wedding. He was just under twenty-four hours away from the first day of the rest of his life, the life that he would spend with the only woman he ever loved. He didn't want to accept that his sister wouldn't be there to celebrate it with him. She would never be there on Earth for anything ever again.

Jesse was so lost in his thoughts that he flinched when he heard soft footsteps approaching his bedroom and stopping right in the doorway. He knew who it was without lifting his head. Ashamed and embarrassed, he didn't move at all, not even when he felt Becky sit next to him on the bed and place a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Jess?" she said softly. "Are you all right?"

Jesse just shook his head. "I'm sorry, Beck. I didn't mean to snap at you. I—I just . . . I just . . ." He knew that if he kept talking, his voice would falter.

She chose her words carefully. "I know you miss Pam, honey." She decided not to beat around the bush. She wanted Jesse to feel comfortable around her and that he didn't need to say certain things that were hard for him. Her hand moved to his back, which she felt was clenched.

Jesse drew in a ragged breath.

"I'm sorry that she can't be here," Becky continued. "I know how hard that must be. And I'm sorry for complaining about immaterial stuff. That was insensitive of me."

Her gentle words made Jesse's eyes sting with tears and a lump lodge in his throat. He raised his head slightly, but wouldn't look at her. He decided not to go into denial, like he had when Danny tried to comfort him on the first Thanksgiving following the accident.

"It . . . it always has to come back when I least expect it," he whispered, a tear sliding from his eye. "It just hurts so much, and I never know when it comes and goes."

Becky pulled him close, not sure how to respond. She had never experienced losing someone she loved, let alone anything remotely close to that.

"Why now?" Jesse asked, forcing a chuckle. "Why right before my wedding, the happiest day of my life, the day I'm marrying the woman of my dreams, do I have to miss her?"

Becky smiled wistfully. Even in his grief, he still was selfless enough to cajole her. She lifted her arm that was wrapped around his shoulder and gently caressed his hair.

"I'm sorry, honey. I wish there was something I could do," she said softly. The words sounded cliché the minute they left her mouth.

However, they were enough for Jesse. His throat was still knotted, so he couldn't say that her being here next to him and pledging to be with him for the rest of his life was more than enough.

Becky then continued, "A person never stops missing a loved one that they've lost. On days that are supposed to be happy, you sometimes, through no fault of your own, feel guilty that they're not here to share it with you."

Jesse pulled away from her slightly and looked into her eyes. "That's exactly what it's like. How did you know?"

Becky smiled, brushing her fingertips across his face. "My best friend lost her mother when she was young, and she would always get real deep in telling me how it felt. Also, my grandmother died when I was a baby and my mom talked to me once about it. I can't say that I've ever been through something like this, but I can say that I understand. And I'm always here if you want to talk about it."

Jesse leaned forward to hug her. He had never felt more lucky to have someone so compassionate, patient, and understanding in his life. And he was going to be married to her.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice thick.

Becky stroked his back. "What for?"

"Just for being here for me whenever I need you. For agreeing to marry me."

"I did find a hair gel assortment and Elvis Presley décor strangely sexy from the beginning," Becky quipped. "Luckily, you're one of a kind." Jesse smiled against her shoulder. They held each other a moment longer.

Jesse eventually cleared his throat and pulled away. "Hey, can . . . can I show you something?"

"Of course," Becky replied. While she did, she silently hoped that Jesse would gradually become more comfortable in talking to her and not continually believe that he had to uphold an unremitting macho code. Her hand slid off his back as he stood up and walked over to a shelf.

Jesse pulled out a large photo album that had acquired a coat of dust over the years. Right before moving into the Tanners' house, he had begged his parents to allow him to keep one of the books that contained pictures of his and Pam's childhood. He figured that now would be the perfect time to look at them, as he certainly had the perfect person to share them with.

"What's this?" Becky asked when he sat back down next to her.

Jesse opened the album to the front inside cover. On the very first page, there was a picture of a little blond girl of about seven years old, holding the hands of a dark-haired toddler. They were wearing matching shirts. Jesse hoped that seeing this would answer Becky's question.

"Aw, is that you?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah," Jesse replied. "Still had the style back then." He traced his finger around his head.

"You're so adorable. I hope we someday have a little boy that looks just like you."

Jesse locked gazes with her, lost in the love and compassion that her eyes contained. He wondered what he had done to deserve the privilege of spending the rest of his life with her.

_Every time our eyes meet  
This feeling inside me  
Is almost more than I can take  
Baby, when you touch me  
I can feel how much you love me  
And it just blows me away  
I've never been this close to anyone or anything  
I can hear your thoughts  
I can see your dreams_

Jesse looked back at the book. "Look at this." The picture he was pointing to was of Pam, who looked to be about eight, buried under a blanket of sand on some beach.

"What's happening here?" Becky asked.

"Ma and Pop took us and our cousins to Florida one year for Pam's birthday. We all decided to bury her in the sand. I, being the precocious four-year-old I was, kept dropping it on her mouth. Ma put me in time-out." Becky laughed. "We actually have a video where I'm screaming bloody murder in the background."

Becky laughed again and indicated another picture of the four members of the Katsopolis family dressed in holiday clothes with a Christmas tree in the background. "Wow, I swear I can't tell you apart from your dad," she commented.

"Uh-huh," Jesse agreed. His eyes hadn't left the picture of his sister, so young, healthy, and alive. He couldn't decide which one of his nieces she most resembled.

Not ashamed anymore, Jesse placed the album aside and turned to gaze at Becky. She returned it with a tender smile and brushed a stray strand of hair from his forehead.

"I love you," he said in a serious tone that also spoke volumes of love.

Becky leaned forward to kiss him. "I love you more," she murmured against his lips.

_I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you_

_It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you_

Mr. and Mrs. Katsopolis shared their first kiss as man and wife, oblivious to the cheers and applause that rang out in the church. When they pulled apart, their eyes locked again as they had the day before in an expression of love and devotion.

_I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you_

Lost in their own world, Becky and Jesse danced in the Tanners' darkened living room. Jesse had his arm around his wife's waist, with his palm resting on the small of her back. His cheek was pressed against the side of her head as he breathed in the intoxicating sent of her hair. Becky had her arm across her husband's back, which her hand occasionally rubbed, and her chin draped over his shoulder.

_The smell of your skin  
The taste of your kiss  
The way you whisper in the dark  
Your hair all around me_

_Baby, you surround me  
You touch everyplace in my heart  
Oh, it feels like the first time every time  
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes_

Lying in one another's arms, the couple gazed at the starry Bora Bora night sky from the balcony of the suite they were spending their honeymoon in. Jesse leaned his head on top of Becky's hair, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

_I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you_

_It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you_

Jesse gazed through tear-filled eyes at his newborn son, ignoring the pain he was in from undergoing an appendectomy. All he cared about was that he was lying in a bed with his family. Becky, equally moved, looked up from their other baby and locked eyes with her husband as they shared a kiss.

_Every little thing that you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you_

Jesse knew that he would never stop missing his sister, but he also knew that he would never be alone in those moments that he was. Becky would always be there for him, as he would for her. Even wedding vows couldn't express that from tip to toe.

**THE END**


End file.
